Planning

A Baby Shower celebrates the miracle of a family.  Whether it's the first new addition, or the fifth, this moment deserves a celebration that illustrates the love and well wishes for this changing family.  As with most events today, the old-fashioned rules for a Baby Shower are out the window!  You can celebrate each child, you can include the men, you can have cocktails…  Have one party with everybody or have a couple of parties with different segments of your world - whatever works for the new Mommy is what goes.  Whether you want to host something traditional or try something different - you'll find what you need here.   

Who receives a Baby Shower?  Traditionally Baby Showers were for first time Mommies of naturally born children.  But at some point society got a clue and realized that ALL babies/children are precious and should be celebrated!  An adoption can have a Baby Shower (for an infant) or an Adoption Party (for an older child), and second/third/fourth/etc. born children should have a Baby Shower.  Each baby should be celebrated as a new member of the family.

• Gifts - the one glitch in this is that later born children may not have such huge gift giving results.  If the first born is a boy, and the new baby is a girl, or there has been a significant time period between children (and the parents may have gotten rid of baby items) then the baby shower may be more "typical".  However, if Mommy doesn't need a lot as she has hand-me-downs from other children, consider a party with a limited gift request. 
  • Baby's Library - ask guests to bring a favorite book from their childhood.
  • Baby's Music - have a music inspired Baby Shower and ask guests to bring favorite songs or CDs to create an eclectic MP3 library for the new addition.   

Who hosts a Baby Shower?  Anyone!  A family member, close friend, or co-worker most typically your Baby Shower "hosts".   The only "rule" that exists now is that neither the Mommy-to-be nor her mother typically host the shower.  However, even this rule has become very thin - Grandmas often host or co-host Baby Showers now, and couples have started hosting their own parties, although this is typically done as a Baby Welcoming event. 

• Because it's now common for Mommy-to-be to have more than one shower (one for family, one for friends, one at work…) there may be several people planning several parties. 
  
  
• If Mommy has a lot of friends and family, consider having co-hosts - bring together a few people to share the responsibility and cost.

When do you throw a Baby Shower?  For most women, the shower has a very practical function of providing needed supplies and wardrobe for the coming arrival.  Therefore, the shower usually occurs a little in advance of an expected date (which also allows for an early delivery or for ordering items that weren't received at the shower).  However, don't plan the shower too early, for a number of reasons.  4 - 8 weeks before the baby's due date is perfect. 

• Select a couple of dates as options.  Contact key guests, especially family that doesn't live in the area, to make sure that they are available on the dates you have in mind. 
  
  
• If Mommy-to-be has a history of bed rest or early deliveries you may want to bump the date a little.
  
  
• There may be religious issues with a Baby Shower pre-delivery.  Some religions don't celebrate a baby until he/she is born.

Who to Invite?  (Putting together a guest list for someone else's party can be tricky - see the Invitation Tab for step by step advice!)  There are a couple of options with showers - you can throw a large shower and include everyone, or, you can have several smaller showers that include different segments of Mommy's life.   Coordinate with Mommy and her family to ensure that everyone close to her is invited to at least one.

• If you have one large party it will probably lead to fewer guests.  The entire office will attend a luncheon at work, the church will attend a cookies and tea at church, but theses types of guests may not drive across town for a large event.  It simplifies the hosting, but limits guest attendance. 
  
  
• If you have smaller events, remember that there may be cross-over with some guests.  If that is the case, let them know that they are included in the parties that would apply but that they aren't expected to attend all of them.  This lets your guest know that they are included, but doesn't create the sense of responsibility to attend multiple events and bring gifts to each.
  
  
• Men?  Yep, it's fine!  Often expecting couples will have couples Baby Showers now.  Why shouldn't men celebrate a new addition as well?  Ask Mommy what she wants to do.  Does she want to get together with the girls or open it up to everyone?  
  
  
  • Keep in mind that if you opt to include men, the "girly" elements that can be part of a Baby Shower probably are better toned down a little. 

What's included in a Baby Shower?  A baby shower can be elegant and formal, or very casual.  It can be mid-morning, lunch, afternoon, or evening - whatever you choose!  Often they are at someone's home, but you can host offsite as well; consider a restaurant or fun group friendly venue.  Usually they last a few hours, a meal or hors d'oeuvres are served, and the Mommy-to-be opens presents.  Usually you toss in some fun activities geared towards celebrating the expectation of the new arrival.  The Goal is to make the Mommy-to-be feel special, pampered and honored as a result of her blossoming belly.

Baby Shower BUDGET??  The shower can be an inexpensive party or an elaborate soiree - it depends on your budget.  But no matter what you can spend, you can make it special for your Mommy-to-be.  It's not about who can spend the most to impress the guests - it's about creating a memory with love, laughter and good friends and family.   If you are on a tight budget, don't worry, you have options!

• For a smaller group, consider hosting in your or someone else's home, which minimizes your venue costs. 
  
  
• Consider co-hosting with other friends and family to spread the cost of the event around.
   
• Family members may contribute towards the event. 
  
  
• Friday night and Saturday baby showers are usually more expensive than Sundays if you are having it at a location other than home or are hiring caterers or other vendors.  Budget Boost by selecting a Sunday afternoon (this minimizes the possibility of conflicting with church).

Who pays for the Party?  The host typically pays for the party as her present to the Mommy-to-be.  However, as Baby Showers have evolved from a simple brunch/luncheon with the ladies into all out events, its hard to expect one person to incur all of the costs.  It's become common to see co-hosting to spread the expense of the party. 

• Hosting a party for someone else can create some tension - what if Mommy-to-be has bigger ideas than Host's budget?  If that's a potential, an upfront conversation about budget may be worth having.  Carefully discuss with your friend what your budget ballpark is so that she can create her expectations accordingly.  Don't be afraid to let Mommy-to-be know if something is going to break the bank - perhaps you can brainstorm an alternative that will be just as great but not as expensive?  Also, if budget is a constraint, consider co-hosting with someone if you want to do more than you can afford. 

Special Considerations:

• Mommy-to-be Helper - 8 months into a pregnancy will result in a tired, easily overwhelmed Mommy.  Task a guest to be her "Helper" during the Baby Shower.  This person would keep a general eye on her to see if she's getting tired or needs something.  Select the most comfortable seat, keep her water glass filled, have her favorite snacks available, find a way to create a break when it appears she needs a moment, etc.   A Baby Shower shouldn't be stressful, but when you feel like a whale, are loaded on hormones, and haven't seen your bloated feet in months, it's easy to be set off by the smallest thing.  The Helper's job will be to keep Mommy happy and relaxed!
  
  
• What about Dad?  Not having a co-ed Baby Shower?  Then chances are Dad's not going to feel very comfortable at your all girl party.  But, he should play a role.  It is his baby too right?  (Shush Peanut Gallery!)  A great way to involve Dad-to-be in the party is to have him arrive near the end of the Shower or be at the Baby Shower for a little while when it begins.  This allows him to say hello to guests and thank them for their support - but also allows him to be absent for most of the party.  You can keep it all girls and still nod to Dad.  
  
  
• Surprise Baby Showers?  I've never quite understood the appeal of the Surprise baby shower.  It's not actually a surprise, because she knows she's going to have at least one, and it prevents her from ensuring everyone important to her is included (do you know about the woman in the office next door that she eats lunch with every day?) or having any say in what she may like.  Plus, when you're 8 months pregnant, surprises can be bad.  Plus, how many reaaaally pregnant women do you know who would be presentable enough for a party on just a regular day? 
  
  
  • Instead, consider having surprise elements to the party.  An unexpected guests, a bigger event than she was expecting, an entertainer, etc. 
    
    
• Guest Book:  Guest books are great because it allows your Mommy-to-be to look back on who shared this special day with her.  However, a great twist on this is an "Advice Book".  Ask guests to sign the book, and provide advice for the new Mom to help her survive her first child, or her fifth.  Sign it first to set the tone.
  
  
• Baby came early!!!!  Help!!  Okay, so if the little one came early what do you do?  Unfortunately, you cancel what you had planned and then wait.  Babies tend to be vulnerable to the germs of the world for a little while - particularly if they came early.  And new Mommys (whether it's their first or fifth) tend to be tired.  Wait until both Mommy and baby are ready for the Baby Shower - probably at least a month after the birth.  Talk to your friend/loved one and ask her when you should reschedule for. 
  • Send a note to everyone explaining the change in events (chances are they will already know that the baby has arrived).  Provide your tentative new date for the Baby Shower and a good RSVP contact so that you can confirm the date and place with guests as they RSVP.
  • What about gifts?  Well, many Baby Shower gifts are helpful immediately for the newborn.  Waiting a month may cause them to lose their benefit (newborn clothes, diapers, bottles, etc.).  A way to address this is to include a message in the new invitation inviting guests to visit the Mommy-to-be as she's at home - after coordinating with her of course.  If a guest has something useful for a newborn they may decide to visit or mail the gift and not wait for the shower. 

 

Venue

There are no limitations on venue except size, comfort and budget.  Office parties can be in a conference room or a favorite local restaurant, family parties can be at home, outside for a barbecue, church parties can be at the church or a nearby park, if you are inviting special girl friends, what about a spa??  Your possibilities are endless, consider:  home, church/temple, restaurant, country club, subdivision club house, spa, hotel, or even a local park. 

• Availability:  Is the space you are considering available for the time and date you are considering?
• Size:  Ensure that your venue can accommodate the number of guests you expect to attend.  Have room for gifts, food, activities you may plan, and mingling.
• Appearance: 
  • Is the space attractive and inviting? 
  • Can your decorating plans work there?
  • Can you get in and decorate and set up early?  How quickly do you have to clean up after?
• Comfort:
  • Are there adequate seats and tables in the space? 
  • Will it be comfortable for Mommy?  If it's hot out, don't party outdoors or she'll get uncomfortable and potentially dehydrated which isn't healthy for her.  A loud environment can be very stressful, so ensure that there aren't other events going on that will be disruptive or excessively loud.
  • Make sure there is comfortable seating and ease of access to a restroom.  An expecting woman should not have to sit for a long period on a hard chair or have to trek to the bathroom!
• Budget: 
  • Budgets can be a huge variable for Baby Showers.  Shoestring, sky's the limit, or somewhere in between? 
  • Budget Boost:  This is typically a more informal event - having it at someone's home is perfectly acceptable, and often expected. 
  • Budget Boost:  An offsite venue will reduce costs for rentals, decorations and the cleaning/set-up/clean-up of having at home.  A way to keep an off-site venue very reasonable is to plan a brunch or luncheon - this is a less expensive meal, typically there is more availability for groups, and alcohol is not a factor.   

Offsite considerations:  Select your venue early to ensure you can reserve a space for your event.  Sample the food and coordinate with management to make sure the colors and theme you select fit the space and determine any limitations you'll have on decorating.

Baby Shower at Home:  Baby Showers are informal gatherings filled with laughter, chatting, and oohs and aahs over all the little baby details.  Having a party at home is perfect to create this environment.  It's comfortable and cozy - but make sure it's not too cozy.  If you want to host a Baby Shower at home ensure you have enough space.  Unlike a Cocktail Party your guests will all be sitting down.  Enough seating is key for this event.  

 

Theme/Activities

Suffice to say that a Theme and games and activities are essential elements of a Baby Shower.  Whether you are traditional and silly or want to be above it all and keep it sophisticated - you still need a Theme to tie everything together and a few games or activities to keep guests entertained and provide fun moments for Mom-to-be's scrapbook.  BUT - both of these elements are SO enormous and there are SO many possibilities and ideas, we've decided to give them their own pages.  This allows us to organize them in a way that allows you to get to exactly what you are looking for!   We'll also be creating "Featured" Showers periodically - with all of the elements you will need - this is great for those of you who don't have a lot of time but want to have a great party!

To keep it simple, here are the links to both of those pages.

Baby Shower Themes
Baby Shower Games and Activities

Invites

Guest List:  Creating a guest list can be tricky with a Baby Shower because the Host is not the Guest of Honor.  Also, as with a wedding, parent's of the Mommy/Daddy-to-be may also have people they'd like to include.  It's all about coordination!  (And perhaps a little determination, frustration, and dedication!)

• Start by defining the scope of the Baby Shower.  Is this just for close friends and family?  Is it for co-workers?  Is it women-only or are you including the guys?
  
  
• Then determine who will be contributing to your guest list?  Grandmas?  Grandpas?  Siblings?  (Mommy and Daddy to be are obvious). 
  
  
• Request Guest Lists from each well in advance of your intended mailing date.  You'll need name (first and last), full mailing address, phone numbers, and e-mail.   
  
  
• Coordinate your Guest List with any other Baby Showers Mommy-to-be is having to ensure that everyone is included in at least one of the parties.  If there are overlaps, ask Mommy how she wants to handle them.  Is it okay to invite that person to just one of the parties or would she like to talk to the guest and see which they would prefer to attend? 
  • There are different thoughts on this issue.  Some people advise that if a guest is invited to another shower that there is no need to invite to the one you are hosting.  However, this is not the case across the board.  If someone at work is also a close friend, then that friend should be included at the "friends" party as well as the "work" party.  Consider overlaps on a case by case basis. 
    
    
• Give your Guest of Honor one last crack at the list to make sure everyone is accounted for.
  
  
• Provide a final copy of the List to the expectant Mom so she can use it for her Thank You cards. 
  
  
• Use your final Guest List as your RSVP tracker - it keeps everything together.

The Invitation:  anything goes!

• Plan your invitations - whether you are ordering invitations, purchasing and filling out, or creating your own - you will need TIME.  Not only time to get them together and completed, but also time to mail them. 
  
  
• Send invitations four to eight weeks before the event with a RSVP date one to two weeks prior to the party. 
  
  
• Invitation details should include:  Mommy-to-be, Host, date, time, location, RSVP information, gender of the baby if known/available, and registry information.
  • Include directions for your guests - and have someone double check them! 
  • If your invitation doesn't reflect your Theme, but you have one, then let guests know.  It can be fun to coordinate gifts, cards or even wrapping paper.
  • If the dress is other than casual, let guests know, and if there is anything that you are requesting they bring this is the time to say it.
    
    
• Have fun with your Theme.

Ideas:

• Baby Bibs - Baby bibs are a fun way to create your own invitation.  Use fabric markers or a Sharpie to print party details.  You can do this on an actual bib, or you can use posterboard to create your own.
  
• Mommy and Daddy pics - get baby pictures of both Mommy and Daddy and have a question mark just under and between the two pictures.  This is a cute way to personalize a Baby Shower invitation!  Mommy and Daddy and Baby make Three!

 

DressItUp

• When people think "Baby Shower" thoughts of explosions of pink or blue crepe paper and balloons come to mind.  But baby showers are moving into mainstream where it can be cute, but chic as well.  Ask the expectant Mom what kind of Party Picture she has - and go from there.  Is she traditional, or does she word associate "Pink" with "Peptobismal"? 
  
  
• Work with your Theme - there are so many adorable baby-related inspirations that you can work with - even if you're trying to play down the cutesy element of the Baby Shower. 
  
  
• Coordinate flowers with Mommy - many pregnant women develop unexpected aversions to smells or become hypersensitivitie.  Ensure that flowers and food selections won't make her uncomfortable.
  
  
• If you are offsite - coordinate with the management early to determine any limitations on decorations and the amount of time you'll have for set up and tear down. 
  
  
• Consider selecting "decorations" that can be used by the Mom-to-be with her new arrival.  This allows money spent on decorations to do double duty by being functional and useful as well.
  
  
• Pacifiers hung from lighting fixtures or attached to glasses with ribbon (as drink identifiers)
• Baby Bottles with cards attached as place cards.
• A baby potty filled with a floral arrangement as a centerpiece.
• A Diaper or baby blanket "cake".

Food/Drink

Tableware:  If you are not hosting the Shower at a restaurant, you're going to need tableware for your party.  Plates, cups, utensils, napkins - enough for appetizers, meal (if served), and cake.  If you have hot and cold beverages you'll need cups that can accommodate each. 

What to serve?  Cake, drinks and snacks are your minimum for refreshments at a Baby Shower.  However, there isn't a requirement to serve a full meal.  If you would like to serve a meal, brunch, lunch or dinner would all be appropriate. 

• Traditionally Baby Showers were served at Tea - and this is still a great idea.  Having an Afternoon Tea Baby Shower creates a simple menu that allows variety and ease of serving.  You could swap the tea for a fun Coffee Bar to mix it up a little!
• Brunch or Lunch are great ways to Budget Boost - alcohol typically isn't an expense, and these meals tend to be slightly smaller and less expensive than a dinner. 
• If the expectant Mommy is still having issues with food - coordinate with her items that are disagreeable.  On the flip side, you could have fun by planning the meal around her cravings. 

Restaurant Venue:  Study the menu and work with the manager.  Decide if you want a sit down setting (formal or family style)  or a buffet meal.  You may even be able to integrate your menu and your Theme. 

• Humor or How awful? - I attended a baby shower with a fish theme (there was a line of Fischer Price items in an aquarium theme).  The host thought it was funny to serve Sushi. 

At Home:  When hosting at home you can cater, make your own food, or something in between.  However, remember that you'll have other Hosting duties (Showers have activities, games, and gift opening that will require your presence) so you won't be able to spend a lot of time in the kitchen.  If you can't do catered, then plan on items that can be made ahead and require very little preparation during the party.  Or, enlist the aid of several people to help throughout the event.  Set out a very specific "Kitchen Plan" that identifies what dishes will be served when, on what, and what, if any preparation needs to be done.  This will allow volunteers to give you a hand without you needing to spend more time telling them what to do than it would actually take to do it! 

Pot Luck - Asking people to join in the fun and help celebrate your event is becoming more common, particularly as the guest list grows for Baby Showers.  There can be mixed feelings on this - your guest is expected to bring a dish AND a gift?  In some cultures this is the norm, in others, the height of gauche.  Consider your guests and decide if this will work for you. 

• If Pot Luck fixes a budgetary obstacle and allows for a larger celebration - consider including a note in your invitation stating that you will be serving the main meat (hamburgers, hot dogs, etc.) and ask guests to bring a side or desert to help make this party one your Mommy-to-be will never forget!  This invites guests to bring food, and lets them know in a subtle way that you are doing what you can.

It's all about the Presentation:  No, don't puree everything your guests will eat - that's going a few steps over the line.  However, you can have fun with presentation at a Baby Shower. 

• Consider using baby bottles (with straws, not nipples) as the container for a  fun signature drink.  (This is another opportunity to use something at the party that will become something needed and functional for the new Mom!)
  
  
• Create a menu plan that walks through the steps a baby takes when learning to eat.  Start with a smooth soup, then move on to something with chopped fruit or vegetables like a Waldorf Salad, then on to a fun finger food like chicken nuggets with some original dipping sauces or an adult version of a Grilled Cheese, then finally a full fledged "adult" food item… 
  
  
• Take kid friendly foods and dress them up for an adult table.  Amazing mac and cheese, gooey panini style grilled cheese, brats (as opposed to hot dogs), grilled PB & J - the options are endless.    

Prizes/Favors

Favors and Prizes are an essential part of a Baby Shower.  Create a little buzz for your games by having some fun prizes that your guests are competing for.  Even the stodgiest of guests will get into the spirit when you tap into their sense of competition!  Favors, on the other hand, are something you provide to thank your guests for coming to your friend/loved one's Baby Shower and to provide a little memento for them.  It leaves your guest feeling special and appreciated, and who couldn't use a little extra of that feeling?? 

• Consider prizes that are not baby related - your guests aren't the ones having a child.  Select something that will appeal to most that won't break the budget. 
  
  
• For party favors, select a small, thoughtful item to thank your guests for coming.  It's a nice final touch that sends your guests off remembering the wonderful party you hosted and your attention to detail.  Favors can be Theme related, they can be personalized, or they can something simple that relates to a baby.
  
  
• Placement - whether you are incorporating your favors and prizes into your décor or not, make sure they are easily accessible and marked.  Otherwise, as guests get up to leave you will have to scurry to find their favor/prize and identify which one is there's.  Since the end of your Baby Shower can be as hectic as the beginning, try to make sure everything is streamlined and simplified!
  
  
• Extras:  party lists tend to be fluid, and this can be true of a Baby Shower!  A guest whose been invited to more than one can end up at yours instead of the one she had RSVP'd for, Grandmas bring friends, etc.  Have a few extra favors on hand for the unexpected additions!

Try incorporating your favors into your decorations - your favor can double as your place card for each guest, or create a fun centerpiece or eye-catching item.  (For example, a "bouquet" of mini baby bottles filled with jelly beans and topped with a ribbon and card). 

• Note, don't place favors throughout your party space - you'll have to go scurrying around to get them when the party is over to present them to guests.  Keep them in one or two key items, or present them as part of a place setting. 

Here are some simple ideas:

• Small baby bottles filled with candy and a personal note thanking each guest.  (These actually make great balloon weights during the party and are easy to spot when the party is over to distribute. 
  
  
• Personalized candy - jelly belly, M&Ms, etc. all have personalized candy available.
  
  
• Pacifier lollipops.
  
  
• Scented votive candles - they will smell lovely during the party and almost everyone loves a candle.
  
  
• Bath sundries - body soaps, lotions, bubble bath, bath salts - wrap them in a piece of Theme coordinated fabric and tie off with a ribbon.
  
  
• Bun in the Oven:  Make some cinnamon buns and wrap them individually in saran wrap with a pretty ribbon.  Include a note thanking your guest for helping you celebrate your Mommy-to-bes little bun in the oven.
  
  
• Cookies or deserts - make some extra then wrap them up in Theme matching saran with a ribbon.  This is an inexpensive way to say Thank You and give your guests a little sweet treat later that they will appreciate.