Basics

Cocktail parties have evolved since the days of Prohibition - and had "rules" that went with them.  They lasted for only two hours, were essentially a "pre-dinner" party, one NEVER served beer, etc. etc.  Obviously things have changed!  Dinner parties are a lot of effort and a full on "bash" is something we save for big occasions and celebrations.  But most of us have need for a party that simply finds a way to bring our friends together, let us relax, have good company, a few adult libations and a few yummy treats to eat.  Most of us took "cocktail basics" in college (aka keggers) where we got together with friends, drank some beer, ate some chips and just enjoyed the company.  But, most of us, have outgrown the "kegger", if not the party style.  So Cocktail parties have filled the need - a simple evening gathering of a medium-sized crowd that focuses on the company, the conversation, the drinks, and the appetizers. 

Basics:

• Timing:  Cocktail Parties typically start at 7:00 p.m. at the earliest.  Then, although you may have an intended "end" time, often guests will stay well into the evening - as long as there is conversation and fun, guests won't tend to leave.
• Day of the Week:  Saturday is the best, because guests have had the day to unwind from their week and can stay out late without the early morning at work the next day.  Fridays are actually not a great choice - Cocktail Parties require guests to invest some effort and energy because the foundation of the party is the interaction of the guests.  After a long work week, Friday nights are probably the lowest point in energy for many of your guests.  Fridays are better suited to a simple gathering or dinner party.  Don't forget weekdays - many folks swear by the Thursday or even Monday night Cocktail party! 

Guests

• How many?  Cocktail parties are best at about 25 guests, plus or minus 8 or 10. 
• If you have over 35 guests, it becomes a "bash" and you won't be able to spend time with each of your guests and relax. 
• If you have under 15 it's more of a "small gathering" or dinner party and the energy just isn't the same.

• RSVP Success.  You'll have to experiment with your crowd to determine how many you need to invite to get the number of guests that you want.  The better at hosting you are the higher your acceptance rate will be.  It also depends on the time of year and the date you've selected.  Often there's less to do in January - March so you may get a higher turn out, and if you choose a holiday weekend your acceptance level will probably drop.  Consider the factors and then guesstimate what your acceptance level will be when inviting your guests.
  
  
• Don’t be afraid to mix it up!  Even if you are pulling in folks with radically different tastes or styles, chances are they will fine some common ground.  Just select an ice breaker activity that will work to bring the groups together. 
  
  
• Seating:  If you consider all of your available seating (including untraditional spots) your optimal seating is three guests per seat.  This keeps the energy of the room active and keeps your guests moving and mingling.

Conversation

• The intent of the Cocktail Party is to celebrate company and conversation.  But the trick to the successful Cocktail Party is getting the conversation rolling.  How do you bring together a group of people and get past the inherent shyness in many of your guests?  You have to give them something to talk about!  A reason to approach strangers and spark up conversation.  The key is the ice breaker. 
  
• Conversation Tips:  There are some things you can do that keep guests moving and chatting that may not be that obvious:
• Put the bar and the buffet in different rooms or areas.  This causes guests to mill about your party space.
  
  
• The ice breaker should feel natural, a relaxed and fun way for guests to meet each other that doesn't come across as contrived or gimmicky.  Often your icebreaker will also set up a fun theme in your party as well.  Select an activity that doesn't require a lot of effort, keeps guests moving throughout your space and gives them a reason to seek out other guests.  All of our Themes contain examples of Icebreakers that would work with that Theme, and more general ideas are included in "Party Fun for Adults" in General Guidance, so peruse for some fun ideas.  Also, share your conversation boosting ice breakers below!    

Food

• Cocktail Parties are about the Hors d'oeuvres (appetizers for us simple folks).  Your guests will be holding a drink, and greeting people (shaking hands, etc.) so you don't want your guests to have to carry food.  The point of the Hors d'oeuvres is to provide a bite sized morsel that doesn’t require your guest to juggle.  Pick it up, pop it in your mouth and keep on mingling!
• Keep it bite sized and finger friendly (plates and utensils violate the no juggling rule).
• Limit greasy stuff as these items require napkin usage while holding a cocktail and lipstick reapplication.
• Nothing that crumbles!  Crumbs on a silk cocktail dress - well, it's just not necessary.
• Try not to have bones, toothpicks or skewers unless you have little plates placed around your space for the disposal of these items.
• Consider serving your hors d'oeuvres on platters instead of buffet (or do both).  Serving on platters keeps the energy up, keeps guests moving and leaves guests feeling pampered.  
• NOTE - if you have wallflowers, consider asking them to assist with a tray or two.  It will give them a reason to approach other guests and may minimize jitters.

• How much to serve and How many types of hors d'oeuvres?  There are different schools of thought on this - and they are all confusing because there are so many factors to consider.  Some say the more guests you have the greater your variety of items should be (why????) and some say you should have so many pieces per guest per hour (what if you have big eaters, or you serve really light hors d'oeuvres??)  However, Lauren and Anne Percell, in their book "Cocktail Parties, Straight Up!" set up the "Five Rules of Food" that makes sense for any party!  (Note, these ladies definitely expect their parties to run long, so if your party will be only a few hours, you may want to pair down the quantities a little!  Seventeen appetizers per guest is a LOT!)
  
  
• "Cocktail Parties, Straight Up!" defines five types of appetizers and the quantity you need for a 7 'til whenever party:
  
  
• "Heavy" appetizers - an appetizer with substance that will appeal to those guests who are heavier eaters or who have skipped dinner.
• Four to Five pieces per guest.
  
  
• "Heavy" or "Medium" appetizers - depending on your crowd you can keep this heavy or lighten it up a little.
• Four to Five pieces per guest.
  
  
• "Medium" appetizers - this is suggested as a vegetarian appetizer or dip.
• 4 to 5 pieces per guest or 1/4 cup of dip per guest (have tons of dip vehicles - bread, crackers, chips) because it's easy and can lengthen your budget).
  
  
• A "Lighter Choice" appetizer - for your "nibblers".  An example would be crudités.
• 5 to 6 pieces per guest.
  
  
• A "Bowl Item" - such as a mixture of nuts, or gourmet olives that can be placed throughout the party space.  These bowls allow guests to snack and mingle.
• 1 bowl per 7 to 8 guests and keep them filled all night!
  
• KEEP IT SIMPLE!!!!  You need to be able to prepare (buy and dress up) your hors d'oeuvres without slaving in the kitchen all day.  Keep the number of recipes down (five items is good) and keep your dishes simple.  If possible, try to select recipes that can be made in advance so that you can be primping instead of cooking!  Fresh and seasonal will win taste bud applause!
  
  
• Time Saver:  If you're not pinching pennies consider pre-made appetizers from your local grocer and then DressItUp with a homemade sauce or dip and a sprig of fresh herbs.  Or, consider contacting your favorite restaurant to see if you can get something catered. 

Drinks

• Cocktail Parties have an inherent focus on drinking - otherwise it would be called an "Hors d'oeuvres party" or an "Interesting people party".  But it's not.  It's about the booze!  So, how do you have a cocktail party if you haven't progressed past orange juice with a splash of vodka or the occasional bottle of prepackaged lime Margaritas?  Well, even if you're not a professional mixologist, you can host a Cocktail Party.
  
  
• Select one or two Signature Cocktails for your party - this minimizes mixing drinks, the alcohol you have to have on hand, and streamlines the bartending duties.
  
  
• If you aren't sure about any mixed drinks, consult an entertaining book that includes cocktails, or refer to the internet, or  just scroll down for Cocktails your fellow Help Me Host It! users have submitted!  Try your recipe in advance to make sure that it tastes as good as it looks (geesh, work, work, work!!!)
  
  
• Consider a Make Your Own Martini Bar - Martinis are quite the fashion, always have been and probably always will be.  But Martinis lately have become the equivalent to an adult Jolly Rancher.  You can create any flavor and have a lot of fun.  So provide your guests with handful of martini recipes and the ingredients to mix the drinks themselves.  Before long they will be urging each other to experiments and trade sips of their own creations.  Note, this activity can get  a little messy so protect any furniture you don't want dripped on. 

• Your Bar:  Chances are that we all don't have a fully stocked bar with every liquor, juice, etc. that  guests could possibly want.  Nor do we want to invest in that sort of thing for a simple Cocktail Party!  So let's bring it down to the basics that will keep your guests happy and not require a professional bartender!
  
  
• Wine/Beer.  Period.  It used to be an absolute no-no for Cocktail Parties, now it's an absolute MUST.
• Average 2 per guest (wine/beer combined)
  
  
• Signature Drink/s.  Simplify your bar with one or two Signature Drinks that can be made ahead or made in pitchers! 
• Average 2 per guest
  
  
• Liquor.  There will always be those folks that are traditionalist and don't like "fru fru" drinks (an old boss coined this term for me).  So select two liquors to have on hand - Vodka and Rum are good standbys.
• Average 1/2 drink per guest 
  
  
• Nonalcoholic.  Many signature drinks can be tasty without alcohol, so have some available.  Toss in a few sodas and water for your non-drinkers and those VERY important designated drivers!!! 

• Chilling Bottles:  So I have yet to be a party where there wasn't a need to quickly chill something - you have a few options.
  
  
• Bottles typically take 3 - 5 hours to chill in your fridge (if you add a ton at one time it's going to take closer to 5 hours).
  
  
• Ice Buckets - use anything deep and fill with ice (layer in your bottles).  Top off with water (and 1/4 cup of course salt per gallon of ice/water to speed up the process) and chill for about 20 minutes.
  
  
• Use your Tub!!!  Don't forget the resources you already have - have "storage" be your tub with ice/water and salt.  Or, if you don't have enough bottles to need the full capacity of your tub, purchase some styrofoam coolers (the kind that always leak) and put them in your tub.

Recipes

Your Party Space

• Cocktail Parties are more informal that other types of gatherings, the focus is on the guests.  So, if you aren't comfortable with your hot glue and stapling skills, don't fret the décor quite so much with this event.  Your space should be clean and beautiful, grab a few fresh flowers as accents here and there, and keep your lighting low (imagine a romantic mood - soft, low light allows guests to relax and mingle).
  
  
• If you want to work with a theme, then go for it, but remember that the intent is for guests to focus on each other.

• Music - consider premixed CDs for background music.  In the MP3 age it's easy to mix a collection yourself, however, a lot of companies have spent a lot of money researching what music goes well together and keeps a party lively, take advantage of that!
  
  
• Music should evolve as your party progresses.  It should start soft and light in the beginning so that it doesn't compete with the conversation.  As the night goes on it can get louder and faster - you may even get some people to dance!