Engagement Party | Help Me Host It | Party Ideas, themes, tips and more.

Plan..

When couples get engaged, often the next day starts the wedding planning. Magazines are purchased, planners are researched, gowns are perused… But many couples forget to celebrate the decision itself. This person you love, in them you have discovered a partner, a lover, a best friend - and that, in itself, is truly momentous. Your decision to share your life with this man or woman is something that you share with those you love - friends and family alike. It gives them an opportunity to formally welcome your fiancé, before the chaos begins… An Engagement Party doesn't have to be formal or expensive or fit some Martha Stewart image - it simply has to be an occasion where you share the love you have discovered with those who care about you. Whether you have a backyard barbecue, a cocktail party, or a formal dinner party in a great restaurant, it's cause for a party!

Planning: for an Engagement Party

Basics: - Engagement Party
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Who plans an Engagement Party? Traditionally an Engagement Party is planned by close friends or members of the couple's family. However, nothing says you can't host it yourself if you want to. You can tell your guests in advance that they are celebrating your Engagement or you can surprise them at the party.
When should you have your Engagement Party? Soon after the engagement. It's essentially an "announcement" party. Although it definitely makes for a tight party planning schedule, the sooner the better. Having it early also ensures that you have one last hurrah with your friends and family before you drive them nuts with wedding planning and chaos.
Who should you invite to your Engagement Party? This is completely up to you. You can keep it intimate and only invite very close friends and family, or you can open it up to all of your friends, family, coworkers, church-members, etc. This is not a party that has "rules".
What are the expectations for my Engagement Party? None. This, like a Birthday Party, can be whatever you want it to be. You can have a Brunch, you can go someplace fun, you can have Cocktails, formal, informal, kids, no kids - it's really what each of you want. Consider it a prelude to the wedding. A small trial run for planning an event together!

Theme

An Engagement Party is about the couple - two people who have decided to twine their lives into one. This party should celebrate each partner individually and look to their future together. Take opportunities to inject all three elements into this party. - Engagement Party

Does the couple like to travel? Can you inject pictures and tastes from their travels into the Engagement Party?
Baby Picture fun - have vignettes with pictures of each with stories from their youth. Their first spaghetti pictures at the spaghetti bar, the toddler picture of him swiping his dad's beer bottle at the bar. You can even have a slide show of their youth up until when they met and fell in love as a backdrop
Favorite Movies? Hobbies? Music? Use what you have and go with it. If the couple both like 70's music, consider a 70's theme, etc.

Decide on what ambience you looking for. Will this be formal, informal, quirky, traditional, dance into the night, or quiet conversation?
What's your budget? Include decorations, refreshments, rentals, entertainment, activities, favors, photography...
What are your resources? Volunteers, professionals? You can't handle it all yourself so make sure that you get enough volunteers or are hiring the help you will need.

Delegate, delegate, delegate. The less any one person is responsible for the more everyone can enjoy the party!
Have a "party plan" put together that assigns tasks and schedules when items will need to be accomplished. This will allow volunteers to jump in and know what you need and when you need it.

Who's coming? Invited versus attending are not typically the same, be realistic in attendance estimates as this is the number that really matters.
Can you boost your budget with the time of your event (such as hosting a brunch rather than a Saturday evening dinner?) or are there any potential conflicts with the date you are selecting (such as holidays)?
How much time do you have to put your event together? Chances are, if you are trying to be close in time with the Engagement you probably don't have months to plan this. You're working with weeks at best. Know your limitations!

Venue

Engagement Parties can be anywhere. How many guests will be attending and what's your budget? Does the couple have a favorite restaurant? Is there a fun activity-based venue that they enjoy? Would you rather keep it intimate and have it at home? Casual with a barbecue somewhere?

Options may include: your home, your backyard (open or tented), a restaurant, a hotel, a rented house, a park, or an event based venue such as the zoo, bowling alley, or a museum.
$$ Having a party at home can boost your budget, but it also requires more effort on your part - consider price comparing offsite and onsite options, you may be surprised how little you actually save when you factor in the cost of food, decorations, rentals, and how much effort you are able to delegate to venue staff that will allow you to enjoy your own party!

How many guests do you expect to attend? - Engagement Party

Offsite options will let you know capacity maximums and minimums
When entertaining at home consider - REALLY consider - how many guests your home can comfortably accommodate. Consider how you can open your primary rooms to maximize space, or can expand into your outdoor space. However, don't fall into the common pitfall of overestimating the actual capacity of their home.

Invites

We love each other! This invitation should be about the couple. Their favorite picture together, pictures of each when they were young, something fun photoshopped - have fun with this!
If you are purchasing something more generic, personalize it by including a picture inside.
If everyone involved has a sense of humor, have a little fun with this. Giving your guests a little chuckle with the invitation will help spark your party mojo that much earlier!
Don't forget the practical stuff!

Who is getting married
Time of the Engagement Party
Location of the Engagement Party
Party details such as meal served or dress requirements

Because this is probably a somewhat tight schedule, invitations go out as quickly as possible. It doesn't hurt to e-mail a "Treevite" as well to get your party on your guests calendars that much more quickly!
Include a link to your Party Page with party details, directions, and RSVP information.
Have a system to track RSVPs

RSVP Tracker on your Party Page
Notebook by your phone
RSVP Cards

Send out a "Party Reminder" a week before the event - this will provide an e-mail version of your party details and directions in case your guest loses the original copy.
Thank you cards can coordinate with the invitations or the theme. You can also take your favorite party photo and personalize your thank you card.

- Engagement Party

DressItUp

What do you need for your venue to fit your Party Picture?

Theme, venue, budget, creative ability and time all play a role in what you will be able to accomplish. - Engagement Party

Get inspired by the couple and your Theme if you've chosen one. Inject details into the décor and tablescape. Have fun with photos, small cards with fun stories and facts about the couple - get the parents involved so that they can have a little fun and perhaps escape some of the sadness of "losing" a child to marriage.
Select three or four colors that you will primarily be working with - this defines your color scheme.
Walls, furniture, lighting, centerpieces, linens, chair backs, tablescapes (see below), even the ceiling and floor can all work into your decorations. No surface is off limits when it comes to decorating!
Tablescapes: - Engagement Party

Presentation is key in entertaining, and the table is the frame for the refreshments and meals that you will serve. Make HOW you serve as important as WHAT you werve.
Not only are the tables the primary presentation for the refreshments, but they are also the focal point in the room.
Determine how your tables will be arranged - served meal, buffet meal, light appetizers… one long table, several smaller tables - start by building the design of the room, then determine how you will utilize the table surface/s in your décor.
The obvious starting point is the centerpiece, however, also consider the linens, place settings, crystal, place cards, napkin presentation, and even chair accoutrements.
Functionality! Consider your guests when dressing your table. A large centerpiece may be a visual obstacle, or, may be removed before the meal and is therefore a waste of resources. Keep it low, or keep it high if guests will need to see each other across the table!
Place settings and crystal will depend on the type of event you are having. From the finest china to high quality plasticware - it depends on what your party picture is. Be appropriate to the style of party you are hosting (plastic is only appropriate for VERY informal gatherings) and the theme of your party.
Finally, remember your FOOD. Food, beautifully presented, is the reason d'etre for your tablescape to begin with. Remember that your food should play a role in the design of the space.

Food/Drink

Refreshments - The heart of the party, amusingly, is the stomach!

What time of day will your Engagement Party be and how long will it last? This will determine how much food you need to serve. Can you get away with light hors d'oeuvres and snacks or do you need a full meal? Or, if your event lasts long enough, do you need both?
How much food will you need to serve given the number of guests you expect to attend? (Use our Food calculator to start your planning!)
If serving a meal, how will you serve it?

Formal seating - limits guests to a selected meal and is typically more expensive when catered.
Family style - dishes are served as they would be at home, allowing guests to select what they want while at the table. This is less formal but more personal than buffet.
Buffet - Allows guests to mingle while they eat, adds variety to the meal selection, and guests can graze throughout the event, reducing rigidity of schedule.

If your Engagement Party is at home, or somewhere food is not served, can you cook?? And, more importantly, DO YOU WANT TO? Preparing and serving the food is incredibly time consuming and can severely limit your ability the party you are hosting. Consider several options:

Make ahead dishes that only require reheating or mild prep work.
Have the event catered (compare costs if you are cooking as a way to budget boost - you may be surprised how similar the costs are for the amount of effort you save!)
Have it catered and pick up (less expensive for a Budget Boost) and hire some local teens to help serve or stick to a buffet.

Have a plan to keep everything hot, or cold, as necessary.
Try to avoid dishes that a portion (15-20%) of your guests won't like. If you know of any special issues, try to have an alternative that will accommodate.
Plan out beverages. Use the Drink Calculator to determine how to allocate nonalcoholic, beer, wine and bar drinks.
Consider a couple of "signature drinks" to simplify the bar - incorporate your couple into the names and have a little fun.
Have a plan for guests who consume too much - the safety of everyone depends on it.

FunStuff

Entertainment - When you want more than just your stereo…

An Engagement Party is a celebration of a couple, and isn't often a three ring circus. Well, maybe in Hollywood… But there are still ways to inject a little entertainment to keep guests enjoying themselves. Consider your Party Picture, and budget. Entertainment can be more than your stereo and the hope of good conversation!
Consider your Theme - is there a specific type of entertainment that would compliment it?
DJ's, musicians, palm readers, celebrity impersonators, dancers, bands, acrobats, clowns, the possibilities are endless. Explore what's available and get a couple of quotes, it may not be as expensive as you might think to make your event even more memorable.
Non-music entertainment can be a lot of fun too. Entertainers are more than just for children. Don't rely on small talk to entertain your guests.

Activities - Get people talking!

An Engagement Party is going to bring together friends, family, coworkers, teammates, church members, neighbors - and not just of one person. You've got groups from both of the couple. Considering that even adults can be shy, combining guests who will have never met each other can make for some awkward small talk. You may also want to control the flow of the conversation. What if her family are all nature loving pacifists and his family are avid hunters? Republicans and Democrats? Vegan and Meat Lover? Your guests may not have much in common, or, may be on different ends of the spectrum. So give them something SAFE to talk about. You are celebrating a union of two people, and with them come their friends, and worse, their families! If you're lucky, Uncle Vernon, the decorated war hero won't discover that Uncle Billy is a draft dodger… Help your adults make conversation by giving them a reason to approach other guests and control the flow of conversation if necessary.
Begin with something simple and subtle as an ice breaker while guests arrive. It gets your mojo flowing and avoids grouping of guests that may leave some folks on their own. Check out our Party Fun General Guidance for ideas and inspiration.
As your party progresses, you can rely on conversation, or you can plan something more formal.
Plan activities that are inspired by the newly Engaged couple. Quiz guests on their relationship, their wedding details, and what they are looking forward to in life as a couple. If guests may not know the details, consider a multiple choice and get a little silly.

The first met where?
Their first date was?
How long have they been together?
Where will their honeymoon be?
What colors will the dresses be?
When they retire they will be most likely to...

Specialize Party Activities (see General Guidance) to the couple. For example, set up a Bar Book where guests can write in their favorite drink recipe and create a fun name for the drink that has fun with the couple.

Prizes/Favors

A little something to remember your event by… - Engagement Party

A party favor at an Engagement Party should thank guests for celebrating the decision to spend a life together. It should ALSO play into the upcoming wedding plans. A wedding is a process, and the Engagement Party is the first step. Follow up a Party Favor with a note for each guest letting them know that the couple can't wait for the big day and it will be all that much better with your guest celebrating with them. Leave guests anticipating the Wedding.

Consider something personalized like a group picture (slip off to your computer for a few minutes), a bottle of wine with a personalized label, or a personalized CD.

Favors are NOT required - but it's an extra touch that shows attention to detail and gracious hosting. Consider making your "Thank you" note your party favor. Yes, it's delayed, but it allows you time to put together something from the pictures, stories, or events of the evening. If you've done a serve yourself bar with recipe cards and drink naming challenges, a copy of the recipes submitted, with fun titles, and a cover that is the group picture would be perfect! You can double this as a "Save the Date" notice as well!