Planning

Tweens are a tough bunch - they think they are old enough to do everything independently, but they really aren't quite there yet.  You can't just set up a cake and popcorn and say "have a great party!" but at the same time, your presence is just going to embarrass them and earn you that whistful "mooooommmmm" that means "go away" in Tween.  So, how do you walk the fine line of setting up the cool birthday without the resultant utter humiliation?  That's a tricky task!  And for those of you who are reading this, thinking, "I'm so lucky my little Tommy/Jane isn't like that!!" - just remember that although your child may not be like that, his or her guests may be.  Step back a little for this party - and let your Tween's independence and budding maturity step

What is your "Party Picture"?  

When planning for Tweens there are a lot of considerations.  First, parents don't stay - all those kids are on your watch, so start by considering exactly how many you are willing to be responsible for. 

• Tweens probably aren't going to invite the entire class, the soccer team, the dance class, the cub scout troop, the neighbors… but the guests they do want to invite can come from any of these places, and often it's going to be gender specific.  So you will probably have a smaller group, but, at the same time, you'll have kids that don't necessarily know each other. 

Tweens (not quite teenagers, but not kids anymore):   Tweens are a difficult age group.  They have started to develop a sense of "cool" - and are afraid of being considered "uncool" - but at the same time, they are still capable of letting loose and being a little silly.  It's a very fine line these kids walk.  For a Tween party, your role as host is going to be to track the party's momentum and be ready to guide or add a boost when necessary.  If you follow some basic rules of engagement, you will be fine!

• Tweens can handle very complicated activities, and don't need the regimented structure to keep their party going that you needed in previous years.  Plan some activities, but let the kids go at their own pace and direct their own activities.   
  
  
• At this age, involving your child is a must!  They are going to have very strong opinions about what is cool and what isn't, so let them guide the party planning - with you as the voice of reason where necessary.  Theme, activities, let your child's voice guide you. 
  
  
• This age has a lot of party options.  Daytime parties, slumber parties, offsite parties…  the rules are out the window at this age and the party is really driven by what your child wants to do and what you can comfortably accommodate (venue and sanity…).
  
  
  • At this age, kids are going to prefer something offsite (unless you are doing a slumber party).  Consider an amusement park, the movies, or even a day at the beach/lake.  Because parties for tweens can be smaller (best friends) more expensive options like a local amusement park are not going to be as cost prohibitive.
    
    
  • Consider adult supervision - with Tweens, having a bunch of old folks (aka parents) around simply isn't cool - but they aren't old enough to leave to their own devices yet.  Offsite locations often have built-in supervision or an environment where adults can hover at the periphery out of the way. 
    
    
  • A good rule of thumb is one adult per 5 or 6 guests. 
    
    
• If you are really attached to having a structured party, consider a really in-depth theme that is still in the realm of "cool" such as a murder mystery, CSI investigation, or spa day.  This allows you to control the party environment without violating your Tween's sense of maturity and independence.     

Unless this is a giant family event, try to avoid including "little" kids (guest siblings or relatives of your child) because this age group isn't that accommodating or sensitive to the fragile feelings of younger children.  You may wind up with small guests that feel left out or shunned. 

What's your Party Picture?  Now that you've thought about the unique life of the Tween, the next question is, what's your Party Picture?

• Are you going to let everyone snack or will you serve a meal?
  
  
• Will this be indoors or outdoors - how much destruction-proofing will you need to do?
  
  
• How much have you budgeted for the party?  Decorations, refreshments, entertainers, venue, activities, favors….  Factor it all in so that you aren't worrying about the cost on the day of your party. 

If you are unsure how many attendees to plan for (vice invitations) ask other parents what they have experienced to get an idea what your attendance will be.  Factor in holidays, weather, and honestly, how cool your party is.  An offsite at an awesome venue will typically result in a greater "yes" RSVP response than a home party. 

Picture it! - Take pictures!  Print them!  Share them!

• Tweens are just as excited about pictures of their party as you are.  They want pictures of their friends, of their cake, of their activities - they've seen the scrapbook and can't wait for a new page!  There are so many "must have" pictures that go with these birthdays.  To make sure you get each picture, spend some time creating a photo plan before the event begins to ensure that the photos and video that you want happen, and that it inconveniences you, or your designated "photographer" as little as possible.
  
  
• You're still the "go to" person at a Tween's party, so chances are you won't have a lot of time to be snapping pictures.  Coordinate with someone (Dad, family, a friend) to be your "photographer" with your photo plan to make sure that even if you can't capture every moment, someone else does.

• Consider hiring a photographer.  A simple event that lasts a few hours is not going to have the price tag of an elaborate wedding.  A professional photographer for an hour or two ensures that you capture the big moments exceptionally! 
  
  
• If budget is a concern, consider replacing your child's periodic professional sitting at your local photography studio with a professional photographer for your event.   You'll end up with several  amazing candids to replace your usual posed picture. And as children get older, these candid moments will mean much more to you than the pose in front of a blue fabric backdrop! 
  
  
• Sprinkle a few disposable cameras around your venue for guests to capture their own shots.  You'll end up with pictures from different perspectives and in moments you may not have caught yourself.
  
  
• Have cards with the address to your party page or photo page on-line so that you can load all the pictures that were taken and each guest can download the ones they want.  These memories are priceless, so share them!  

Theme

Kids don't remember the cake, they don't remember the activity, what they remember about their party for years to come is the Theme!  If you sweat nothing else, sweat the Theme!  Here's what you need to consider:

• What is your child into?  Tweens typically have a hobby or interest that they are really into.  This is a great starting place for your Theme.  A sport, a television show, a movie, a type of music or activity… any of these can be the basis for your Theme.  If your child is interested in something too outside the norm then try to find ways to bring it back into the mainstream.  A little creativity can turn something "odd" into something "awesome".

Remember that these are budding adults - temper the "Theme" from younger years with a sense of maturity.  Look around and consider what you would want as an adult and then kid it up just a little.  Over the top can be perceived as childish - but the kid that still dwells inside wants all the color and excitement.  Again, it's a fine balance.   

Once you've chosen a theme, incorporate it into everything - invitation, venue, décorations, tablescape, music, food, drinks, even your activities and entertainment.

Venue

Depending on your child's popularity, this may be a party of 5 or of 20 - do you want 15 ten year old boys in your house?  Is your house cool enough?  If not, take your party SOMEHWERE ELSE!!!  There are TONS great venues for Tweens where OTHER people set up, clean up, and entertain your guests.  Because your party may be smaller than past years, you may be able to up the budget a little per guest as well.  Consider the following ideas and then jump to our venue section and explore a little:

• Movies and a Pizza party - take the group out to pizza and cake, then head over to your local movie theater where typically they will rope off a section for just your party!
  
  
• An arcade such as Dave & Busters that is geared toward adults and older kids.
  
  
• Bowling alleys - an evening party with pizza and pitchers of soda and treats while bowling with fun music in the background still counts as cool.
  
  
• Amusement parks - this age group is old enough to take to a large amusement park.  Have adults on hand to herd everyone and keep them together though!

The cost for the offsite venue is at least partially offset by what you would have spent on decorations and entertainment at your home (not to mention it is a LOT less work!). 

 If you select a venue offsite, coordinate cost per child with the venue and determine how many guests you can include.  Also, some venues charge admission per adult as well so determine how many "chaperones" your party requires and coordinate with RSVP'ing parents. 

• If a parent does not feel comfortable leaving their child at the venue you selected ask if they can assist with the party and supervision. 

HOWEVER, there are parties at this age group that can be done at home and not violate your Tween's cool-factor.  Slumber parties are great at this age!  Grab a couple of age/gender appropriate movies, and have a room devoted to your guests.  A buffet set up with amazing treats, music, some fun activities to start the party, then let them settle in and entertain themselves.  Video games, movies, make-overs, karaoke and music - all of these are great for Tweens.

• Slumber Party with Movies:  select a couple of the most popular new releases - but make sure to keep them age appropriate!!!
  
  
• Slumber Party with Video Games:  Have a couple of games that everyone will like and consider the number of guests you have.  If you have 10 kids, one TV and one system won't work - set up two!  Have a system so that everyone gets to play and there is something to do while guests are waiting for their turn.
  
  
• Slumber Party with a Make-Over:  For girls, this is the age when they start to want to LOOK like adults.  So plan a fun make-over party!  Have stations for nails, pedicures, hair, make-up and fun temporary tattoos.  Have the latest craze in music in the background and you'll have tons of high pitched fun!
  
  
• If you have a pool, this is the time to use it!  Smaller party, guests who are probably able to swim - it's the time when a pool party is the least terrifying.  BUT, although these are older kids, still make sure that swimmers have constant supervision. 

Invites

• If you think it's fun to get an invitation to a party as an adult, think back to when you were a kid!!!  Excitement can build weeks in advance from the first appearance of that envelope in the mailbox or their school cubby.  The anticipation just builds when the children look at the invitation and the party date noted in their calendar. 
  
  
• The cooler the invitation the greater the reaction of the guests and guest of honor!

• Include party details - this is important for the other parents.  The basics are an obvious (time, date, who, where…), but have a note highlighting any special needs like a change of clothes/bathing suit/sneakers or list of movies you'll be watching.  Use your invitation as a vehicle to give the parents those extra details they will need.
  
  
• Invitations go out 2 to 3 weeks before your party.
  
  
• Include a link to your Party Page (coming soon) with party details, directions, and RSVP information. 
  
• Send an e-mail "Party Reminder" a week before the event - this will provide an electronic version of your party details and directions in case the original gets lost.
  
  
• Track RSVPs and don't forget to ask if there are any specific needs or concerns for the guest coming (such as food allergies!)
  
  
• A group picture as the Thank you card is a great memento of your party and a personal way to say thank you for coming and the present you brought. 

 

Decorations

Decorations - A couple of balloons or the whole enchilada, it's up to you!

• What is your theme, and where are you having your party?  This determines the scope of your decorating options and needs.  If you are offsite, chances are you only need minor embellishments and table accoutrements, but if you are at home it's a whole different enchilada!  
  
  
• What is going to bring your theme to life?  What details will inspire excitement in these Tweens  and get their party mojo going?  Do a little research on your theme - and inject those details in to your party. 
  
  
• Select three or four colors that you will primarily be working with - this defines your color scheme and helps keep the surroundings looking exciting, not chaotic. 
  
  
• Walls, furniture, lighting, centerpieces, linens, chair backs, tablescapes (see below), even the ceiling and floor can all work into your decorations.  No surface is off limits when it comes to decorating!
• Don't forget the entrance!  This is your "first impression" so make it pop!

• Incorporate your food, beverages, and even your entertainment into your decor.  

Tablescapes - Your tables are your prime real estate, maximize the effect!

• Tweens aren't going to sit down for a meal - you're lucky if you get them to eat to begin with.  Chances are they are going to "graze".  Getting these kids to a table, sitting down, using utensils is going to be like herding cats.  Actually, herding cats in a room full of rockers…  So, don't bother trying.  Set up an amazing buffet and let them come and go.  Although it's absolutely acceptable to establish a few rules - like where they have to eat and drink - saving your carpet and furniture!
  
  
• The table is the wow-factor - get creative, be original, but keep in mind guest comfort and safety. 
  
  
• Incorporate your table into your theme.  Color coordinated serving pieces or creative solutions really set off a table.   

 

Food

Refreshments - The heart of the party, amusingly, is the stomach!

• Tweens are going to want kid food still, and finger friendly is great!  Give them variety, and a fun presentation.  Veggies with dip, hot dogs, mac and cheese, nuggets with fun dipping sauces, burgers, pizza - have fun! 
  
  
• Consider involving the guests in the cooking process.  Is there an element that they can work on?  This can be an "activity" that isn't obvious as an activity - you know? 
  
  
• Personal pizzas that guests create themselves
• Loading wraps that an adult cuts into pinwheels
• Selecting the ingredients for smoothies and slushies
• An ice cream sundae bar
• Decorating cupcakes and cookies
• Making candy "shishkabob" with fun colorful candy and marshmallows on wood skewers
• Macaroni and cheese bar (have broccolli, hot dog pieces, ground beef, etc. that can be added)

• No matter what time your party, Tweens are ALWAYS hungry, so, at a minimum, incorporate light snacks into your party.  Crackers, chips, veggies with dip - something with substance (not just sweets!!!) that they can snack on.
  
  
•  Cooking….  Although it's your child's party, you are still the host.  And even with Tweens there is an element of supervision and guidance on your part to keep the party momentum and assist with activities.  You won't have time to be in the kitchen, so plan accordingly.  Make it ahead, buy it pre-cooked, have "helpers" in the kitchen, or just have it catered - do whatever you need to do to stay out of the kitchen so that you can be part of the party instead of stuck in the kitchen.  Consider several options:
  
  
• Make ahead dishes that only require reheating or mild prep work. 
• Pick up pre-made food from your favorite restaurant, grocery store or deli.  At most you have a little reheating to do. 
• Order delivery - it is the rare child that doesn't like pizza!
• Plan dishes that the guests will help with (see above) so that the guests are in the kitchen with you!
• If you are truly doing it up contact a caterer and ask about their experience catering events for older kids.  It's amazing what caterers can come up with to tempt the palate of even the most picky eater. 

• Because Tweens have longer parties (or even all night parties), you can't just heat it all right before the party.  Food will get cold or can go bad.  To make sure everything goes off without a hitch, have a refreshment plan.  This allows  anyone offering you an assist in the kitchen to understand exactly what is needed, and when.  Include the following:
  
  
• How the item needs to be prepared (baked, micro-waved, mixed, tossed, etc.)
• When it needs to be prepared and how long it will take (provide specific cooking instructions).
• What it will be served in and when it will be presented to the guests.

• Cake and ice cream typically are one of the last things you do - secretly I believe that this is part of a grand conspiracy to ensure that the kids get sugar loaded right before they go home so the high doesn't hit until after they've left!
  
  
• Have a variety of drinks available.  Not every kids likes soda, and most parents are happy with that.  Have a good mix of soda, juice, and water (you may want milk on hand in case anyone asks).
• If you are having a slumber party - think hard about caffeinated drinks.  You want them to stay up, but you don't want them wired until 3:00 a.m.  There are a lot of sodas that don't have caffeine that are a better choice.

• Refreshments can fit your Theme! 

 

FunStuff

Entertainment - The smile factor…

• Back to the same basic question - what is your theme and where is your party?  If you are at an activity based venue, you don't typically need additional entertainment because the venue provides it.  However, if you are at home, do you want to add an additional entertainment element? 
  
  
• Face painters (whimsical, or for a girl's make-up party, a make-up artist)
• Bounce House rentals
• Educational instructors such as science stuff, forensic stuff, movie make-up, dance instructors...
• Musicians
• Scavenger Hunt professionals
• Caricature artists
• The possibilities are endless - browse our vendors and entertainment section for ideas that will work with your child's interests and your party site.

Activities - Get people talking! 

• Entertaining Tweens is difficult, because planned games that were fun a few years ago can be considered childish to this age group.  But, at the same time, if you actually get them playing, they have a blast.  So plan a few activities that are geared towards older kids and don't require a hovering mom to supervise.  Outside activities like Kick the Can, Capture the Flag, or a Scavenger Hunt can get energy expended outside where your breakables aren't.  Indoor activities like fun food prep, hide and seek, or arts and crafts keep Tweens busy. 
  
  
• Just remember to give everything a big kid spin (Hide and Seek becomes "Ghosts in the Graveyard" or art projects are more akin to scrapbooking or creating frames for fun photoshop efforts.)  Go through activity ideas with your child and get their thoughts on whether something will be fun.  

• You just never know what will work with Tweens.  Have four activities planned, but don't be rigid.  Let the party flow, and inject the activity when the momentum needs a boost.  If they don't get to it, don't worry - it means they were having a lot of fun doing other things.
   
• Start your party with something that your guests can work on as the rest of the guests arrive.  You want something that will allow conversation, can tolerate interruption (as guests run over to greet a new arrival) and can be completed later if everyone arrives quickly and they turn to something else.
  
  
• An ideal activity would be a craft.  Perhaps T-shirts that can be designed with fabric markers/fabric paints?  Or a picture frame that will hold the group photo you will take during the party?  The start of the "scrapbook" that they will fill with notecards written to each other and pics you take throughout the party?  Even something as simple as lanyards are easy and fun and can occupy 15 minutes while guests arrive.   

Prizes/Favors

A little something to remember your event by…

It has become the norm for kids' parties to have a party bag for each guest - no matter the age.  These can be as simple as a bag of candy or as wild as your imagination and budget can manage.  It's just a little token from the host to each of the guests for them to take a little of the party home with them.  There are several alternatives for older kids.

• Have "prizes" for various activities throughout the party.  Ensure each child gets at least one as their favor.  Couple this with a small bag of candy or theme related item at the end.
  
  
• Activities during the party can also be the party favor.  Making a T-shirt or hat, an art project they can keep is great for a party favor.  Some small token at the end in conjunction with the art project is great.
  
  
• Find a theme related container and fill it with various items - theme related or otherwise.  Consider the age of your guests and their interests.  Attach a small Thank You note from your Tween to each party favor. 
  
  
  • A bag full of candy is easy - but it's still not free and parents don't always appreciate the little gift of sugar you've sent home with their child.  Consider an alternative to the candy that can be enjoyed for a longer time.  Art supplies, pictures from the party, books, or a CD of party music from your event are all great ideas.  If you look, you can find something pretty cool that doesn't cost more than that bag of candy did and is appreciated for a longer time.
    
    
  • See Party Favors for Kids for more fun ideas!