Planning

 

"Johnny, exactly HOW many children are in your class???  Oh, your T-ball team too?  And Cub scouts???"  Breathe (in through the nose… out through the mouth…) you can do it!  (You just may need a spa day afterwards to regain your sanity!)  As children get older they have more friends and peers that they will want (and need) to invite to their parties.  But a lot more options also open up for your event at this age as well.  These are the birthdays your child will remember - the moments where even the littlest details bring the hugest smiles.  They also have not hit the age where the party they have must be completely different from anyone else's - in fact, they will probably want something "just like…."  If you listen to their wants and needs, toss in a dash of creativity and keep everything age appropriate you will not only survive, but probably get the "mom of the year" hug at the end of the day! - planning a childs birthday party

What is your "Party Picture"?    - planning a childs birthday party

• When planning for older children you don't know how many parents will stay with their child (this is particularly an issue when planning an offsite event).  Ensure you have enough adults to help supervise and run the party and that you have planned for refreshments for some of the parents as well.
• Enlist the aid of family members and parents of children your child is close with to ensure that even if parents drop and dash you have enough of a ratio to keep the party fun, and safe.   

• Consider the abilities and attention span of your child and your child's guests when planning your party.  If there are a variety (family and friends with smaller or older children) try to accommodate to those children as well.  Have "easy" versions of your planned activities for younger children and enlist "big kids" as helpers - making them feel grown up and at the same time keeping them occupied.   
• Five year olds:  This is that hazy transition time between being a big kid and being a little kid.   Their skills have developed enough to allow more complex activities, and they are social enough to engage in team based fun.  But competition is still a tough concept - losing does not make for happy five year olds.  Activities that involve role playing, dramatic play and pretending are excellent sources of amusement for this age group.  And little fingers are finally able to fully enjoy crafts independently so art projects are perfect for five year olds.
• Your five year old probably has a room full of pre-kindergarten students as well as children from an activity such as dance or a sport.  At this age, they will want to invite everyone (most schools actually require that all children in the class are invited if invitations are handed out on school property).  This results in planning for a minimum of 15 attending guests!  Whew!!!  (remember, breathe….)
• If you want (or need) to keep it smaller, have your child sit down and decide who their best friends are.  Do this several times over the course of a few weeks because children this age typically change "best friends" daily and will tell you who their closest friends were at that time.  Because you won't be including everyone, send invitations via Treeless Invitation or U.S. Post to prevent hurt feelings for those who are not invited. 
• If you play games where children compete, try to make sure everyone wins rather quickly or some of your guests will end up frustrated with hurt feelings. 
• Six year olds:  These kids are now typically in the land of "big kids" and want to act and play like big kids, although their abilities don't always match up to their sense of independence.  If they can't do it on their own it can lead to frustration.  So the challenge with this age range is creating a party that seems like a "big kid" party but has activities that are not quite so "big kid" in abilities and skills.
• Your six year old has a room full of kindergarten students as well as children from an activity such as dance or a sport.  Parties at this age are typically co-ed and include everyone (most schools require that all children in the class are invited if you pass out invitations on school grounds).  Classmates, team mates, neighbors and family result in a pretty large party and most parents begin the "drop and dash" method.  Plan for enough adults!!! 
• If you want (or need) to keep it smaller, have your child sit down and decide who their best friends are.  Because you won't be including everyone, send invitations via Treeless Invitation or U.S. Post to prevent hurt feelings for those who are not invited. 
• This age group can follow more complicated instructions but only provide two or three steps at a time.  Although they may be able to do the step, if you give them too many at once they won't remember what the step was.
• Group activities are appropriate at this age.  Six year olds will actively play and work together. 
• Consider obstacle courses and scavenger hunts at this age.
• Although your child may be reading at this age, other children may not be -  make sure that instructions are given verbally to prevent embarrassment for those that are not accomplished readers yet.
• Seven year olds:  These big kids are ready to party.  Keep them challenged and entertained with more complicated activities and tasks.  Seven year olds are (finally) good listeners but you should still minimize the amount of instruction at once.  This age can appreciate the concept of competition without tantrums, however, "losing" still isn't fun and some children will be more advanced in skills and abilities so make sure that at the end everyone has won a prize for something.
• Your seven year old has a room full of first grade students as well as children from an activity such as dance or a sport.  Parties at this age are usually co-ed but you'll begin to see same-gender parties at this age.  Most schools require that invitations handed out in class include everyone, but some will allow same-gender groupings as it excludes children in such a way that doesn't typically result in hurt feelings.
• Classmates, team mates, neighbors and family result in a pretty large party and many parents will "drop and dash".  Plan for enough adults - ask parents when the RSVP if they will be staying or leaving and enlist friends and family to help. 
• You can keep it smaller at this age but send invitations via Treeless Invitation or U.S. Post to prevent hurt feelings for those who are not invited.  Also talk to your child about how it feels to not be included so that they are aware of what they say during school.  Children at this age have long memories and a perceived slight and can have long-reaching repercussions.  
• Activities that involve building things or solving things are ideal for this age range.
• Complicated crafts keep seven year olds engaged and result in great party favors.
• More complicated treasure hunts and scavenger hunts are great - consider a treasure hunt that leads them to the box of party favors at the end of your party.
• Eight year olds:  These children have hit a level of sophistication that provides them with the abilities for complicated activities, and the desire to behave in a more "grown-up" manner.  At this age parties begin to get a little more depth to them and themes emulate grown-up activities.  Little girls begin to have interest in the "glamour girl" type party, little boys in spying and crime solving.  What would have been a dinosaur party a year ago becomes an dinosaur excavation party…  what would have been a princess party becomes a princess make-over party… Consider your child's interests and find a way to give it a grown-up spin.
• Your eight year old has second grade classmate's as well as peers from extra-curricular activities.    Parties can be co-ed or same-gender now without any concern for feelings.  Talk to your child's teacher about how they allow invitations to be distributed now.  Parent's routinely "drop and dash" but you still need a lot of adults to help run and supervise the event.  Ask parents who RSVP if they will be staying or leaving and enlist friends and family to help.    
• Problem solving is great at this age - inject some mystery that must be solved as a group.
• Robust physical activities will help control the excitement level and these kids love to show off what they can do!
• This is probably the last year you will need to structure the party to keep it moving -but these kids want to feel grown up enough not to be "babied".  It's a careful balance between sophistication and boredom!
• Nine and Ten year olds:   Bigger kids can handle very complicated activities, and really don't need the regimented structure to keep their party going that you needed in previous years.  Have activities available but let the kids go at their own pace and direct their own activities.  Essentially, your role as host for this age group is to watch the momentum of the party and give it the needed boost when necessary. 
• This age has a lot of party options.  Daytime parties, slumber parties, large parties that include everyone, smaller parties for just close friends… the rules are out the window at this age and the party is really driven by what your child wants to do and what you can comfortably accommodate (venue and sanity…). 
• Depending on the type of party your child has selected, have activities ready but let the kids drive the party.
• If you are really attached to having a structured party, consider a really in-depth theme such as a murder mystery, CSI investigation, or spa day.  This allows you to control the party environment without violating your child's sense of maturity and independence.  

   What's your Party Picture?   - planning a childs birthday party

• Are you going to let everyone snack or will you serve a meal?
• Will this be indoors or outdoors - how much destruction-proofing will you need to do?
• How much have you budgeted for the party?  Decorations, refreshments, entertainers, venue, activities, favors….  Factor it all in so that you aren't worrying about the cost on the day of your little one's party. 
• How much help and support will you have from friends, family, and the parents of the guests?  This is important when planning a party for older children as parents begin the "drop and dash" protocol and aren't around to supervise their own child. 
• If you are unsure how many attendees to plan for (vice invitations) ask other parents what they have experienced to get an idea what your attendance will be.  Factor in holidays, weather, and honestly, how cool your party is.  An offsite at an awesome venue will typically result in a greater "yes" RSVP response than a home party. 

Picture it! - Take pictures!  Print them!  Share them!  - planning a childs birthday party

• Older kids are just as excited about pictures of their party as you are.  They want pictures of their friends, of their cake, of their activities - they've seen the scrapbook and can't wait for a new page!  There are so many "must have" pictures that go with these birthdays.  To make sure you get each picture, spend some time creating a photo plan before the event begins to ensure that the photos and video that you want happen, and that it inconveniences your, or your designated "photographer" as little as possible.
• You're still the "go to" person at an older child's party, so chances are you won't have a lot of time to be snapping pictures.  Coordinate with someone (Dad, family, a friend) to be your "photographer" with your photo plan to make sure that even if you can't capture every moment, someone else does.

• Consider hiring a photographer.  A simple event that lasts a few hours is not going to have the price tag of an elaborate wedding.  A professional photographer for an hour or two ensures that you capture the big moments exceptionally! 
• If budget is a concern, consider replacing your child's periodic professional sitting at your local photography studio with a professional photographer for your event.   You'll end up with several  amazing candids to replace your usual posed picture. And as children get older, these candid moments will mean much more to you than the pose in front of a blue fabric backdrop! 
• Sprinkle a few disposable cameras around your venue for guests to capture their own shots.  You'll end up with pictures from different perspectives and in moments you may not have caught yourself.
• Have cards with your e-mail address for parents with their own cameras.  It's easy and free to e-mail someone the pics they've taken at your party!  

Theme

Creating a Sense of Cohesiveness and having a little FUN.  - planning a childs birthday party

• Kids don't remember the cake, they don't remember the activity, what they remember about their party for years to come is the Theme!  If you sweat nothing else, sweat the Theme!  Here's what you need to consider:
• What is your child into?  This does NOT mean what do YOU think is cool or exciting (if your little guy isn't in to sports, he's not going to appreciate a football theme, and if your little girl is a tomboy that make-over party is not going to work for her…). 
• For younger kids the theme can still be driven by a favorite character, but as children get older it's the activities that make the party.  Draw the theme from your child's interests and what they want to do during the party. 
• Also consider who the guests are - if the party is intended to be co-ed then activities and theme should appeal to both genders. 

• Older children should be involved in the party planning process.  Let them peruse the themes and give you ideas. At this age a birthday party should be a collaboration.  You might be surprised by what they want to do.  Try to inject a couple of surprises into the event itself, but for the most part, work together!

• Examples:
• My son is really active and loves arts & crafts - so for his eighth birthday we did "Camp Zander" (see Camp theme for pictures!)  He wanted to invite everyone so we had a huge, co-ed party which meant that everything we did had to appeal to both sexes.
• A friend has a daughter who is "all girl" and loves the standard "girl" type activities.  So she invited just a few of her closest friends and took them to a kid-oriented hair salon for a make-over.
• A "Party Girl" episode included highlighted a "forensics" party for a group of boys.  It began with lessons in how to dust for fingerprints and take impressions of shoe bottoms and then set the boys off on a crime scene scenario!
• My daughter simply had her fifth birthday party at the local gymnastics studio with 20 of her friends where they jumped, tumbled and balanced to their heart's content.  We followed up with just our closest friends at the pool for a pizza and pool party.  She couldn't have been happier and it was so easy! 

• Once you've chosen a theme, incorporate it into everything - invitation, venue, décorations, tablescape, music, food, drinks, even your activities and entertainment. 

Venue

Where will you host your party?

• The entire class, the soccer team, the dance class, the cub scout troop, the neighbors…  This is going to be one HUGE party!  Does your house fit this many kids?  Is it cool enough to meet the discerning child's expectations?  Are you willing to suffer the stains and breakage that go along with this many seven year olds???  Take heart, if you answered any of these questions with "no" but you still want to invite the entire gaggle of kids - you do have an option!  Take your party SOMEHWERE ELSE!!!  There are TONS great venues for older kids where OTHER people set up, clean up, and entertain your child's guests.  And as a parent, I was personally amazed to discover that the cost really wasn't that different from what I spent when we hosted the party at home.  Consider the following ideas and then jump to our venue section and explore a little:
• Zoo/Aquarium/Museum
• Art centers for children
• Party zones with inflatable bounce houses and party rooms
• Kid centered restaurants with activities and arcades
• Bowling alleys, gymnastics studios, martial arts studios
• Specialized venues where children make their own teddy bear, paint their own pottery or have make-overs… to name just a few
• Local parks and playgrounds - no, they don't set up and clean up, but there's built in entertainment, and wide open space that does not include your china!

• The cost for the offsite venue is at least partially offset by what you would have spent on decorations and entertainment at your home (not to mention it is a LOT less work!). 
• I discovered this surprising reality when I planned a party for 25 (yes, 25!) children at a local bounce house and spent LESS than the party I threw for 8 at a nearby park. 

•  If you select a venue offsite, coordinate cost per child with the venue and determine how many children you can include.  Also, some venues charge per adult as well (such as zoo admission) so determine who many "chaperones" your party requires and coordinate with RSVP'ing parents.  If a parent does not feel comfortable leaving their child at the venue you selected (this will particularly be the case with younger children and with larger venues such as amusement parks) ask if they can assist with the party and supervision. 
• For younger age groups and larger venues, assume you will need to include one parent per child and plan accordingly.
• If your venue is one that people may like to frequent, consider talking to your venue about the advantages of annual membership  - many local zoos, museums and amusement parks allow the daily admission cost to offset the price of an annual admission - parents of guests can purchase an annual admission for the discounted price thus benefitting from your party for the rest of the year!  

• Know the capacity of your venue and the capacity you are paying for.  Some venues have a rate for a set number of children.  If you will not have that many, consider combining parties with someone else who may have a child with a birthday similar in time to yours. 

Invites

Letting everyone know about the party!  - planning a kids birthday party

• If you think it's fun to get an invitation to a party as an adult, think back to when you were a kid!!!  Older kids seriously love a party!  Excitement can build weeks in advance from the first appearance of that envelope in the mailbox or their school cubby.  The anticipation just builds when the children look at the invitation their parents probably stuck on the fridge or calendar. 
• The cooler the invitation the greater the reaction of the guests and guest of honor!

• Include party details - this is important for the other parents.  The basics are an obvious, but do the children need a change of clothes for messy activities, will there be food served, and are there any little party details that may be important, like a bathing suit or sneakers?  Use your invitation as a vehicle to give the parents those extra details they will need.
• What are we celebrating?
• Time of Party (start and end for drop and dash parents)
• Location of Party
• Necessary party details for your theme or venue

• Invitations go out 2 to 3 weeks before your party.
• Include a link to your Party Page with party details, directions, and RSVP information. 
• Send an e-mail "Party Reminder" a week before the event - this will provide an electronic version of your party details and directions in case the original gets lost.
• Track RSVPs and don't forget to ask if there are any specific needs or concerns for the guest coming (such as food allergies!)
• A group picture as the Thank you card is a great memento of your party and a personal way to say thank you for coming and the present you brought. 

Decorations

Decorations - creating a fun, safe, exciting environment!  - planning a kids birthday party

• What is your theme, and where are you having your party?  This determines the scope of your decorating options and needs.  If you are offsite, chances are you only need minor embellishments and table accoutrements, but if you are at home it's a whole different enchilada!  
• What is going to bring your theme to life?  What details will inspire excitement in the children and get their party mojo going?  Do a little research on your theme - and inject those details in to your party.
• Select three or four colors that you will primarily be working with - this defines your color scheme and helps keep the surroundings looking exciting, not chaotic. 
• Walls, furniture, lighting, centerpieces, linens, chair backs, tablescapes (see below), even the ceiling and floor can all work into your decorations.  No surface is off limits when it comes to decorating!
• Don't forget the entrance!  This is your "first impression" so make it pop!

• Incorporate your food, beverages, and even your entertainment into your decor.  

 

Tablescapes - The centerpiece of your party space!  - planning a kids birthday party

• The table is the wow-factor.  It's the centerpiece of the room where your decorating real estate is at a premium.  Dress your table to flaunt your theme - get creative, be original, but keep in mind guest comfort and safety. 
• Even kids appreciate food - but, as with adults, make HOW you serve as important as WHAT you serve. 
• Consider having an adult space and a kid space for refreshments.  Chances are your refreshment options will be a little different for each anyway.  But even if it's not, adults will probably mingle together and having adult refreshments in that area is a hosting trick. 
• Incorporate your table into your theme.  Color coordinated serving pieces or creative solutions really set off a table.  
• Consider your serving functionality - will the guests be sitting down to eat?  If so, will it be at one long table?  Or will there be "grazing" material that can be grabbed at will (finger food is key for this!)  Start your tablescape with the design functionality.
• Your centerpiece can be the epitome of your theme - bring all of your theme elements together for this - but if your guests will be sitting down to eat (as opposed to a buffet table scenario) keep your centerpiece high, or low so that it doesn't interfere with sight across the table at the other guests.

Food

Refreshments - Food, food, and more food!

• Even big kids aren't going to sit quietly and have a mature eating experience.  Plan fun party food that allows kids to engage in conversation while they eat.  Keep it simple and play to a kids tastes, not an adults.  Hot dogs may not be your favorite food, but to a nine year old it's perfect. 
• Even if you serve a "meal" keep grazing material out for snacking during the party. 
• No matter what time your party, growing kids are ALWAYS hungry, so, at a minimum, incorporate light snacks into your party.  Crackers, chips, veggies with dip - try to keep the sweets to a minimum or you'll have sugar highs - wait for the cake (at the END of the party) for the sweets!
•  Cooking….  Although it's your child's party, you are still the host.  And even with older children, there is an element of supervision and guidance on your part to keep the party momentum and assist with activities.  You won't have time to be in the kitchen, so plan accordingly.  Make it ahead, buy it pre-cooked, have "helpers" in the kitchen, or just have it catered - do whatever you need to do to stay out of the kitchen so that you can be part of the party instead of stuck in the kitchen.  Consider several options:
• Make ahead dishes that only require reheating or mild prep work. 
• Pick up pre-made food from your favorite restaurant, grocery store or deli.  At most you have a little reheating to do. 
• Order delivery - it is the rare child that doesn't like pizza!
• If you are truly doing it up contact a caterer and ask about their experience catering events that include small children.  It's amazing what caterers can come up with to tempt the palate of even the most picky eater. 

• Because older kids have longer parties, you can't just heat it all right before the party as you would with a shorter, younger child's birthday.  To make sure everything goes off without a hitch, have a refreshment plan.  This allows  anyone offering you an assist in the kitchen to understand exactly what is needed, and when.  Include the following:
• How the item needs to be prepared (baked, micro-waved, mixed, tossed, etc.)
• When it needs to be prepared and how long it will take (provide specific cooking instructions).
• What it will be served in and when it will be presented to the guests.

• Cake and ice cream typically are one of the last things you do - secretly I believe that this is part of a grand conspiracy to ensure that the kids get sugar loaded right before they go home so the high doesn't hit until after they've left!  (Actually, I have to admit I'm a huge proponent of that conspiracy!!!)
• Have a variety of drinks available.  Not every kids likes soda, and most parents are happy with that.  Have a good mix of soda, juice, and water (you may want milk on hand in case anyone asks).
• Refreshments can fit your Theme! 

FunStuff

Entertainment - The smile factor…

• Back to the same basic question - what is your theme and where is your party?  If you are at an activity based venue, you don't typically need additional entertainment because the venue provides it.  However, if you are at home, do you want to add an additional entertainment element? 
• Clowns
• Jugglers
• Face painters
• Bounce House rentals
• Magicians
• Educational instructors such as science stuff, forensic stuff, make-up artists...
• Musicians
• Scavenger Hunt professionals
• Caricature artists
• The possibilities are endless - browse our vendors and entertainment section for ideas that will work with your child's interests and your party site.

Activities - Keep the kids moving! 

• When entertaining this age range of kids, the primary concern is that the children be able to do the task independently - they won't want your help.  So try not to plan activities that will require assistance. 
• The younger end of the age spectrum will be more willing to get silly and enjoy structured activities, but as they get older (closer to the ten year old end of this range) they won't appreciate "kid games" quite so much.  Go through activity ideas with your child and get their thoughts on whether something will be fun.  
• Depending on the length of your party try to fill about half of the time with planned activities.  Have some in reserve in case the party stalls and you need to keep it moving.  Then, take your cues from the kids with how long each activity takes and when they are ready for the next one.
• NOTE - if the kids are having a lot of fun with an activity and it's going longer than you expected, let it ride.  It's like waking a sleeping baby - you just don't mess with happy kids.  If their interest is captured and they are enjoying themselves simply wait and enjoy the moment.

• Start your party with something that kids can join in with when they arrive (not every parent is prompt!).  An ideal activity would be a craft.  Perhaps T-shirts that can be designed with fabric markers or party hats that go with the theme?  Incorporate your theme from the beginning with a craft that brings your theme to life. 
• Opening presents - At this age it's expected that your child will open presents in front of everyone.  This emphasizes the importance of how it feels to GIVE a gift, and the gratitude your child has while receiving.  Have someone keeping track of what it is and who it's from and talk to your child before the party about proper responses and saying thank you.
• Remind your child to look at the child who gave the gift and thank them personally after they open the present.
• Prepare your child for the possibility of a gift that they already have.  Remind them to simply say thank you so that the giver doesn’t feel badly.  Children at this age are very excited about the gift they are giving - it's unfortunate when a gift isn't appreciated or acknowledged. 

• Closing the party - Because you are at the stage of "drop and dash" not all the children will leave at the same time.  There is always the parent or two who are late picking up their child.  Plan for a late departure and have something at the end of the party that doesn't require a set amount of people or is interrupted by the departure of a guest.   

Prizes/Favors

Fun stuff for everyone…

• It has become the norm for children's parties to have a party bag for each guest - no matter the age.  These can be as simple as a bag of candy or as wild as your imagination and budget can manage.  It's just a little token from the host to each of the guests for them to take a little of the party home with them.  There are several alternatives for older kids.
• Have "prizes" for various activities throughout the party.  Ensure each child gets at least one as their favor.  Couple this with a small bag of candy or theme related item at the end.
• Activities during the party can also be the party favor.  Making a T-shirt or hat, an art project they can keep is great for a party favor.  Some small token at the end in conjunction with the art project is great.
• Find a theme related container and fill it with various items - theme related or otherwise.  Consider the age of your guests and their interests.  Attach a small Thank You note from your child to each party favor. 
• A bag full of candy is easy - but it's still not free and parents don't always appreciate the little gift of sugar you've sent home with their child.  Consider an alternative to the candy that can be enjoyed for a longer time.  Art supplies, books, a CD of party music from your event, a small toy that is theme related.  If you look, you can find something pretty cool that doesn't cost more than that bag of candy did and is appreciated for a longer time.
• See Party Favors for Kids for more fun ideas!